Broken
by Kylie-Chan
Summary: Suboshi's feelings as he kills Tamahome's family. He wonders at some point if maybe what he's doing is wrong.


A/N: Okay, I got the idea for this when I heard about how everyone hated Suboshi because he killed Tamahome's family. I personally love Suboshi, and although I became really upset when he killed them, I also saw it from his point of view. He thought his brother, the only family he had left, had just died. He obviously loved Amiboshi very much, and all he could think about after he died was getting revenge. Honestly, if you thought that the person you cherished most had just been murdered, wouldn't you feel the same? I would. Ahh, Sorry, I went on waaaaaay too long. To anyone who actually read this, thank you.

EDIT: Well, I just couldn't stand looking at this fic anymore. I love the concept of it, but my grammar when I first wrote this was less than satisfactory. Not to mention the flashback scene, which I had put in third person for some weird reason. Since I love this fanfiction so much, I decided to go back through it and fix it up. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Fushigi Yugi. It belongs to the brilliant Yu Watase, who is the coolest person alive for creating FY.

Broken

I found the house, right where Nakago said it would be. My ryuseisui whirled behind me as I walked forward, knocking on the door. My lips curled into a malicious smile as I heard the excited shouts from within the house.

"Big brother is back!" they were yelling.

_Too bad,_ I thought. They wouldn't be opening the door to their big brother. They would never see him again. Just like I would never see mine ever again. Aniki…

My vision began to blur, and I blinked back tears. Today I would have my revenge. Revenge for my dear aniki, whom those self-righteous Suzaku seishi murdered heartlessly. Now they would feel my pain.

"Tama…home?" came the confused voice of the young boy who had answered. I pushed him backwards, anger filling every vein in my body. This one looked almost exactly like Tamahome, the wretched bastard who had taken the life of my precious brother. He would be the first to die.

The children all gathered close to their father, staring at me with wide-eyes. Their father was also alarmed as he asked, "Who are you? What do you want?"

My answer was simple, and my ryuseisui spun in front of me. "Revenge."

It was then that I began my rampage. I ended up killing the father first, as he tried in vain to protect his children.

_It's no use_, I thought to myself as the spinning ball plunged through his chest. _You're all going to die._ Blood sprayed from his wounds and the children began to cry, screaming helplessly. The three youngest crowded behind their elder brother, who tried desperately to shield his siblings.

"Leave us alone!" the boy cried.

For a moment, I hesitated, reeling back. The scene reminded me so much of when my aniki protected me from the soldiers who had attacked our village. He had stood in front of me, yelling at them to leave me alone, not worrying about himself.

For a second, I thought fleetingly of just letting them live. But then all the anger and hatred rushed back to me, and I became cold once more. I shot my ryuseisui through the boy's chest, and allowed it to go wild, letting it plunge through them all.

"This is payback!" I shouted angrily. "My aniki is dead because of your stupid brother! He's gone, and he's never coming back! This is all your brother's fault, I hate him! I hate the Suzaku warriors, and now they'll know how I feel! I never even got to see my brother before he died! I never got…to say goodbye." Tears rose to my eyes again, and finally, all the screams stopped. Mine and theirs. They were dead. I had finally fulfilled my revenge. Covered in blood, I turned to leave, when a small noise met my ears.

"I'm…sorry…" it said softly.

I turned around, surprised at the voice I heard. I scanned the floor, and saw the youngest child, a girl, breathing raggedly. "Wh-What?" I said slowly.

"I'm sorry…your brother…is gone…you must feel…sad," she said.

I could feel the tears in my eyes again, but this time I let them fall. "Yes," I whispered. "I am very sad. That's why I did this. I miss him." My thought went back to when he had left.

"_No!" __I__ had screamed._

"_Shunkaku__, please listen-"_

"_No! You can't leave aniki, it's too dangerous!"_

"_I have to Shun. I have orders from Nakago."_

"_I don't care! You promised we'd never be separated ever again aniki! You promised!"_

_Amiboshi__ had__ looked at __me__, his __expression__ softening__. He drew me __into a tight hug. "Shun…I know it's hard, but I have to go."_

"_Then let me come with you!" __I'd__ said, hugging __him__ back._

"_You can't __Shun__, you have to stay here. Nakago wants you here so that we can have a safe way of communicating."_

_I only hugged him __tighter and said, "I don't want you to go aniki. Please don't…" __I__ was crying __then__my__ body __shaking__ with sobs. Tears ran down __Amibsohi's__ face as well, and he said_

_ "It's okay __Shunkaku__ I'm going to come back after it's over. Then,__I will never leave your side ever again."_

_I had looked up at him__, tears streaming down __my__ face. "Do you promise aniki?"_

_Amiboshi__ nodded, stroking __my__ hair. "__Yes__. I promise I will come back. I will always come back for you __Shunkaku__." He placed a gentle kiss on __my__ forehead, letting __me __bury __my__ face in his chest as __I__ continued to cry. But for some reason, __I__ felt like __it__ was the last time __I__ would be with __my__ brother. _

Then I snapped back to the present. The little girl smiled at me innocently and said, "I bet…he's happy…'cause you love him... so much."

I stood still. This girl was exactly like him. Exactly like aniki. Kind and gentle, never angry. Even as she lay dying amongst her family's bodies, she apologized to me. Then the wave of guilt hit me.

Why had I done this? Why had I killed these poor children, whose only crime was being related to that foul Suzaku boy? I stopped, trying not to let those feelings get the best of me. But as I was at the door, I paused, looking back at the girl who lay dying on the floor.

"I'm sorry…" I whispered.

_It started out as revenge for you, aniki,_ I thought sadly, as I climbed to the top of the house. _I did it to avenge your death, but now... now I still don't feel at ease. It was supposed to make me feel better. So why do I feel so broken?_

-owari-


End file.
